Jo

Was I this naive to believe that this would be different?

It has been a while to feel something special remotely. This seemed real and somewhat possible to develop. However, it was a created ideal that did not exist. This was just another story like the others—someone who ghosted someone for some type of reason that can never be found.

Why did this happen? Did she let her guards down? Was it his pattern of choice to ghost someone? Are there no reasons for anything?

It was chill and fun, but it had to end like this? Are we all fooling ourselves in life to move forward?

It was a puzzle never to be solved.

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I am happy but not truly happy. I will call it lukewarm happy for now. I do not need surgery. However, all results are inconclusive, and the only action that I can take is to believe nothing will worsen. After four months, the results can be bad, and I will need surgery. I would have simply been delaying the surgery.

What can I do now? Living with a bomb that is ticking inside of me and can explode at any time to the road of cancer.

I feel helpless. I should be celebrating that I don’t need surgery now, but I cannot. I will always hear that tik tok sound at the back of my head and wonder if it’s time.

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I love movies, but now I know that cliches can make someone sad.

Movies tend to kill characters off with cancer. Is cancer the number reason to die? Is that why it’s used so much? I felt so offended that what I have is something that movies use to write off characters or to create empathy from the audience.

It might be fictional, but it’s not in real life. So writers who only use cancer as a stereotypical way should think twice before upsetting actual cancer patients.

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Jo

Jo

Writer of fiction, non-fiction, and random thoughts