Reminiscing the Feeling

I was talking on the phone with him and then remembered five years ago. It was Valentine’s day, and we met up for a movie. Blue is the Warmest Color was on screen again for the special occasion.

I liked the movie, so watching it again was an excitement. However, it was more than a film for me. It was leverage that let us get close and start spending time together. We talked about the whole dynamic between Adele and Emma so much before and again this day. Drinking after a good movie was always a great way to “finish” the film.

I don’t remember that day vividly, but I remember the feeling. I was so excited to spend Valentine’s with a great movie and my special companion. Although it was just another day for him, it was one of the best days for me. On that day, I truly realized that I was infatuated. I remembered that I could not stop smiling that day. Everything was natural, and nothing could have made it better.

When I realized the truth about my feelings and, for the first time, understood what it meant to be smitten, I couldn’t deny it. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stop because that feeling of warmth and happiness is addiction. It was impossible to suppress the feeling.

After five years, I haven’t had that feeling for a bit. It seems like it was something rare and unlikely to come again. I remember the feeling, but I have lost it and haven’t found it yet.