The Bomb is Ticking… tik tok

I am happy but not truly happy. I will call it lukewarm happy for now. I do not need surgery. However, all results are inconclusive, and the only action that I can take is to believe nothing will worsen. After four months, the results can be bad, and I will need surgery. I would have simply been delaying the surgery.

What can I do now? Living with a bomb that is ticking inside of me and can explode at any time to the road of cancer.

I feel helpless. I should be celebrating that I don’t need surgery now, but I cannot. I will always hear that tik tok sound at the back of my head and wonder if it’s time.