The Front Bottoms’ Outlook

I was reading my July post on how I was unsure about everything. August and September were more challenging, with nights when I would cry because I thought I would stay in bed forever and maybe not even get back to normal. Some events are just hard, not because they are painful, but also because they take a long time to recover from. I’m still recovering, but my worries have mostly gone away since July.

For the first time, I feel some stability, which makes it even scarier. What if it just ends tomorrow? In a few weeks? It would hurt even more since I know how it felt.

“Good” isn’t enough to describe this feeling most of the time. Good is when someone asks “How is your day?” and you want to move on from the conversation. I would describe this feeling as knowing that someone is on my team and has my back. They would be there for me, and I know it. It’s like the happiness of eating a new dish that you love and want more of. Or when Spotify recommends a new song on Monday that you can’t get enough of.

It feels good and I want to mark it down so I am writing it down.

And that feels good
Mark that down
That feels good right there like that
Let’s mark that down